OOC: Greetings to all. As you might have noticed by giving a quick glance toward the title, this will be an aar from a noob's perspective. And by noob I mean as green as the vast fields of Russia in the political mapmode: I played for about ten minutes with the tutorials and this will be my very first game. Also, note that being a french-canadian, english is Not my birth language and while I will try to do honor to shakespeare's tongue, don't expect miracles from me.
Take note that while critics toward my regime will be met with deadly force inside the frontiers of my virtual kingdom, as readers you have every right of telling me that I am heading my nation toward total disaster. Not that I will heed your advices anyway... Pesky readers!
Houserules
1- No save and reload. If I miss, I live with it.
2- No quitting before 1936 (which I believe is the end-date)
3- No save edit, no cheats
Hopefully, I will avoid getting annexed until then
So... it is settled, my country is chosen, I've got a week-end's worth of vacations, outrageously unhealthy amounts of pepsi and frozen foods at my disposal...
"GOD SAVE THE NOOB TSAR!"
Moscow, 1836
*A figure lies in the royal bedroom, puzzled by the strange looks of his environnement*
-Where I am?
*Looks by the window*
-Temperature would lead me to believe I'm still in Canada, but something looks strange and out of place... Yeah that's it, I don't remember I had a russian orthodox cathedral in my backward yesterday
*A uniformed man enters the room*
-ваше сиятельство?
The noob glanced at the well-dressed stranger
-I command you to speak english at once!
-your highness?
repeated the man
The Noob was surprised at himself:
-Wow... I can't believe it actually worked! I'm clearly badass and fit for any leadership post. This proves my highschool teachers wrong
The minister slowly answered:
-...Your highness, this is 1836 and Great Britain is the first world power. As your chief advisor, it is quite normal for me to be able to speak the language of treacherous albion
The noob paused
- ...Yeah... Whatever... As you call me highness, I believe I am the glorious, and hopefully uncontested, leader of the nation?
Chief advisor - That you are, your highness. Would you like ...
"BLOOD WILL FLOW LIKE IN THE RIVERS OF ANCIENT BABYLON!" bursted the Noob Tsar, suddenly realizing the extend of his godlike power over a whole country
Chief advisor - ... I beg his highness' sweet pardon?
Noob Tsar - ...It never happened, just give me an overview of the nation I now rule...
Chief advisor - I'll start with the... herm... good news: we are a great power, and an absolute monarchy, which means you have complete authority over your subjects. The bad news... is that we are apparently also very backward with a literacy rate of 13,6%
Noob Tsar - Who cares? The slaves don't need books to work my fiefdom
*A bit later, after the Noob Tsar poked around complex diagrams and statistics describing his nation, under the appalled eyes of his closest advisor*
Chief advisor - As afraid as I may be, can I ask his glorious leadership what decisions he will take?
Noob Tsar- we will research ideological thought. I'd prefer to research mustard gas, but as it happens, our national research comitee is partial toward culture-related researches. At least, it might allow us to retain our authoritarian regime.
We will maintain slavophiles in power for now, but I might just flush the dorks and replace them with panslavics. It IS an outrage, after all, that my visionary leadership cannot guide the invisible hand and force her to build the factories of my chosing. For now, I have set national focus on Moscow to encourage basic factories and another focus on St-Petersburg to encourage capitalists
As for the rest... meh, let it remain as it is for I will see what needs to be changed in due time. And by that, I mean to check if I can taxe the hell out of the poor people and get away with it. Ol'greaser wants a new palace and 14 k gold throne to rest his butt.. WOAH HOLD ON! I almost forgot
Chief Advisor: WHAT?
Noob Tsar: well obviously, I got my first event to decide, what else? The people need my leadership *Feels like a real decision-maker*
http://img6.imageshack.us/i/v21v.png/
While I couldn't care less about them building houses, a quick glance at the diplomacy screen tells me Finnish is Not an accepted culture in my domain, therefore they shall suffer my discriminatory laws to the fullest!
*Clicks the unpause button*
Take note that while critics toward my regime will be met with deadly force inside the frontiers of my virtual kingdom, as readers you have every right of telling me that I am heading my nation toward total disaster. Not that I will heed your advices anyway... Pesky readers!
Houserules
1- No save and reload. If I miss, I live with it.
2- No quitting before 1936 (which I believe is the end-date)
3- No save edit, no cheats
Hopefully, I will avoid getting annexed until then
So... it is settled, my country is chosen, I've got a week-end's worth of vacations, outrageously unhealthy amounts of pepsi and frozen foods at my disposal...
"GOD SAVE THE NOOB TSAR!"
Moscow, 1836
*A figure lies in the royal bedroom, puzzled by the strange looks of his environnement*
-Where I am?
*Looks by the window*
-Temperature would lead me to believe I'm still in Canada, but something looks strange and out of place... Yeah that's it, I don't remember I had a russian orthodox cathedral in my backward yesterday
*A uniformed man enters the room*
-ваше сиятельство?
The noob glanced at the well-dressed stranger
-I command you to speak english at once!
-your highness?
repeated the man
The Noob was surprised at himself:
-Wow... I can't believe it actually worked! I'm clearly badass and fit for any leadership post. This proves my highschool teachers wrong
The minister slowly answered:
-...Your highness, this is 1836 and Great Britain is the first world power. As your chief advisor, it is quite normal for me to be able to speak the language of treacherous albion
The noob paused
- ...Yeah... Whatever... As you call me highness, I believe I am the glorious, and hopefully uncontested, leader of the nation?
Chief advisor - That you are, your highness. Would you like ...
"BLOOD WILL FLOW LIKE IN THE RIVERS OF ANCIENT BABYLON!" bursted the Noob Tsar, suddenly realizing the extend of his godlike power over a whole country
Chief advisor - ... I beg his highness' sweet pardon?
Noob Tsar - ...It never happened, just give me an overview of the nation I now rule...
Chief advisor - I'll start with the... herm... good news: we are a great power, and an absolute monarchy, which means you have complete authority over your subjects. The bad news... is that we are apparently also very backward with a literacy rate of 13,6%
Noob Tsar - Who cares? The slaves don't need books to work my fiefdom
*A bit later, after the Noob Tsar poked around complex diagrams and statistics describing his nation, under the appalled eyes of his closest advisor*
Chief advisor - As afraid as I may be, can I ask his glorious leadership what decisions he will take?
Noob Tsar- we will research ideological thought. I'd prefer to research mustard gas, but as it happens, our national research comitee is partial toward culture-related researches. At least, it might allow us to retain our authoritarian regime.
We will maintain slavophiles in power for now, but I might just flush the dorks and replace them with panslavics. It IS an outrage, after all, that my visionary leadership cannot guide the invisible hand and force her to build the factories of my chosing. For now, I have set national focus on Moscow to encourage basic factories and another focus on St-Petersburg to encourage capitalists
As for the rest... meh, let it remain as it is for I will see what needs to be changed in due time. And by that, I mean to check if I can taxe the hell out of the poor people and get away with it. Ol'greaser wants a new palace and 14 k gold throne to rest his butt.. WOAH HOLD ON! I almost forgot
Chief Advisor: WHAT?
Noob Tsar: well obviously, I got my first event to decide, what else? The people need my leadership *Feels like a real decision-maker*
http://img6.imageshack.us/i/v21v.png/
While I couldn't care less about them building houses, a quick glance at the diplomacy screen tells me Finnish is Not an accepted culture in my domain, therefore they shall suffer my discriminatory laws to the fullest!
*Clicks the unpause button*
